sorry for the sudden end to my last post. the 5:00 whistle blew before i knew it!
back to my thoughts on our "promiscuous culture".....
i lament over the pervasiveness of our cultural attitudes towards sex. hook-ups are not only commonplace, but expected. women are now supposed to be "just like men" in all aspects of life, including their sexuality. if a woman wants to attach after having sex, she is needy and undesireable. don't expect him to call. don't get emotionally involved. keep it casual and fun.
yet, didn't God design sex for bonding us together? it seems like we try so hard to fight some of our created intents. physiologically our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin every time we have sexual contact. that chemical is the same one that is released when mothers breastfeed. it serves as a bonding agent, creating a sense of trust and safety. so, although, try as we might to "detach," somehow, our bodies have an agenda of their own. (looks like God wanted it that way) so, here we are, allowing our "desires" and "impulses" to rule....yet, finding that there are other impulses (i.e. bonding) that we would rather stifle. we can't have it both ways....
just like our desire for freedom of sexual expression for everyone--it all has a price. we try to break roles and expectations, yet we still find ourselves following culture. somehow our attempt to free ourselves has caused more bondage than we expected.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
rants
so, recently i read a book called "girls gone mild" by wendy shalit. yes, as you can tell it's a take on "girls gone wild," and let me tell ya, it's anything but. wendy (a jewish 30-something) seeks to point out the need for modesty and respect in a culture permeated with sexual messages. she shares examples of how our children are influenced by these messages from an early age. everything from Bratz dolls to Abercrombie and Fitch are speaking into the lives of our children, telling them that in order to be accepted you have to be "hott," "sexy," "playful," and "fun." i was enraged. sure, i knew that we live in a very sexualized culture that wrecks havoc on the minds of our children, but i didn't realize the extent to which this occurs. blame it on the fact that i live in a bubble sometimes...
that brings us to the issues of today. it looks like here in the 21st century, we are reaping what we have sown. our parents' generation, the baby boomers, brought on the "sexual revolution." they were huge proponenets of femnism, freedom of sexual expression, and fighting the rigid expectations placed upon them at that time. yet, what do we have 50 years later? STDs, broken marriages, and sexual issues out the wazu. not to mention the goal of "freedom" for women has actually created the opposite effect. once, women were expected to be beautiful homemakers and the perfect wives. they were asked to have dinner on the table and to fulfill a role of submission to their husbands and families. their life was in the home...not out in the workforce or on the battlefield. we have come a long way.
yet, now in 2010, we ask women to be the "bad girls," to be appealing to men sexually, and to use this avenue as power. a woman is expected to go to work and to be successful. she is looked down upon if she decides to "stay home" or live a modest lifestyle. is this not as much oppressive as the first time around? women are still expected to fulfill certain "standards"....the only difference is that the morality of the matter is now erased. the value we place on the new standard is in the "lack of morals," rather than on the inclusion of them. it is just as important to us to erradicate all moral expectations as it was for those living in the 50's to incorporate morality. it's just a matter of what we value most. looks like we value anti-morality. hmm...seems like we have a problem.
this is only the tip of the ice berg. i'll be back later for more thoughts....stay tuned...
that brings us to the issues of today. it looks like here in the 21st century, we are reaping what we have sown. our parents' generation, the baby boomers, brought on the "sexual revolution." they were huge proponenets of femnism, freedom of sexual expression, and fighting the rigid expectations placed upon them at that time. yet, what do we have 50 years later? STDs, broken marriages, and sexual issues out the wazu. not to mention the goal of "freedom" for women has actually created the opposite effect. once, women were expected to be beautiful homemakers and the perfect wives. they were asked to have dinner on the table and to fulfill a role of submission to their husbands and families. their life was in the home...not out in the workforce or on the battlefield. we have come a long way.
yet, now in 2010, we ask women to be the "bad girls," to be appealing to men sexually, and to use this avenue as power. a woman is expected to go to work and to be successful. she is looked down upon if she decides to "stay home" or live a modest lifestyle. is this not as much oppressive as the first time around? women are still expected to fulfill certain "standards"....the only difference is that the morality of the matter is now erased. the value we place on the new standard is in the "lack of morals," rather than on the inclusion of them. it is just as important to us to erradicate all moral expectations as it was for those living in the 50's to incorporate morality. it's just a matter of what we value most. looks like we value anti-morality. hmm...seems like we have a problem.
this is only the tip of the ice berg. i'll be back later for more thoughts....stay tuned...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
lessons from the tree
since i moved to chicago i have become a parent to my first plant. (gotta start somewhere, right?) i remember having a conversation with my boss in august, explaining that i had never owned a plant before and that i wanted to try my hand at it. well, a couple of days later i walk into my office to find a little potted tree with a note attached from my boss. that was the day i owned my first plant.
i have already learned a lot from this little tree. to make a long story short, i had to take my plant home for a while during my training at work. then, a couple of months ago, i decided it was time to bring it back to my office. well, since i am a new 'plant mom,' i didn't really think about the fact that it was 5 degrees outside that morning. (and i decided it was a great day for a starbucks run before work!) so, needless to say, by the time i brought my little tree back to its home, it was droopy and very sad looking. soon, every single leaf fell off and all that was left was the trunk and a few branches. i felt like a failure. yet, for some reason i held out hope that it could come back.
and come back it did. i began to see green buds forming at the end of the branches and eventually a few green leaves formed. now, there are officially 5 sets of leaves and more are forming as we speak. i am so glad that i didn't kill off my first attempt at plant ownership---and i have learned my lesson about transporting greenery during chicago winters!
however, this little guy has not only taught me a lot about foliage, but about lessons about life as well. see, just like my plant, we as humans go through periods of "shock." we aren't prepared for the conditions and we find ourselves wilting away as a result. perhaps it is an unplanned loss, or a crisis of some sort, and before we know it, we feel as if the life is sucked out of us. yet, even when all the external signs say that this is the case--inside of us hope rests under the surface. although we can't see it at the time, new life is forming. it may not look the same as it once did, and it may take a while to break through the exterior...but it is coming.
my plant can attest to that...and so can i.
"forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
see I am doing a new thing!
now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
i am making a way in the desert
and springs in the wasteland." isaiah 43:18-19
i have already learned a lot from this little tree. to make a long story short, i had to take my plant home for a while during my training at work. then, a couple of months ago, i decided it was time to bring it back to my office. well, since i am a new 'plant mom,' i didn't really think about the fact that it was 5 degrees outside that morning. (and i decided it was a great day for a starbucks run before work!) so, needless to say, by the time i brought my little tree back to its home, it was droopy and very sad looking. soon, every single leaf fell off and all that was left was the trunk and a few branches. i felt like a failure. yet, for some reason i held out hope that it could come back.
and come back it did. i began to see green buds forming at the end of the branches and eventually a few green leaves formed. now, there are officially 5 sets of leaves and more are forming as we speak. i am so glad that i didn't kill off my first attempt at plant ownership---and i have learned my lesson about transporting greenery during chicago winters!
however, this little guy has not only taught me a lot about foliage, but about lessons about life as well. see, just like my plant, we as humans go through periods of "shock." we aren't prepared for the conditions and we find ourselves wilting away as a result. perhaps it is an unplanned loss, or a crisis of some sort, and before we know it, we feel as if the life is sucked out of us. yet, even when all the external signs say that this is the case--inside of us hope rests under the surface. although we can't see it at the time, new life is forming. it may not look the same as it once did, and it may take a while to break through the exterior...but it is coming.
my plant can attest to that...and so can i.
"forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
see I am doing a new thing!
now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
i am making a way in the desert
and springs in the wasteland." isaiah 43:18-19
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
trimming the kudzu
so, for those of you who don't know, i work at a non-profit crisis pregnancy center. we see many clients who are facing a crisis or unplanned pregnancy. through my work here, i have come face to face with the HUGE need for the issue of female sexuality to be addressed in our culture.
it takes the shape of a 19 year old girl who came to me for STD information. she had felt out of place in her friend group b/c she was the only one who had not had sex. now, she has contracted a STD.
it takes the form of the 17 year old girl who professed to a relationship with God, but realized she had searched for love by giving herself sexually to several guys.
it's the girl who has already had 2 abortions by age 16 and is facing yet another pregnancy. yet, she has no job, no life skills, and no steady boyfriend to support her.
these are just a few of the real-life stories that i have come across in the past few months, and this only scratches the surface. women all over america are faced with issues of sexuality from as young as elementary school. what can be done to help address this issue?
recently, i re-read "reviving ophelia" by mary pipher. it's a book that discusses the influences on adolescent females and the changes that take place as they leave childhood behind. although, it's a little outdated (written in the 90's), i couldn't help but come to recognize some of the greater issues plaguing our women today--the loss of "true self" in an effort to fit in, the issues of sexuality, the role that culture and the media play, the influences of peer group...and the list goes on. when i look at our work at the pregnancy center i can only believe that we are merely conducting damage control. although we are able to help a client through a crisis situation, we aren't equipping them to combat all of these influences. we are merely "triage." and although this is the role we are called to play, i can't help but wonder if there's something that can be done to address some of the larger causes.
i feel like we're merely cutting the leaves off of a kudzu of culture in our attempt to keep the parasitic plant from spreading.
yet, when i become overwhelmed at all of the horrible messages that are being sent to women today...when i can't seem to figure out a way to even begin addressing all of the issues, i am reminded of the power of prayer. in my 45 minutes spent with a client, i can only hope to share some truth and empower her to make better choices, yet God is able to do take my efforts and multiply them. He is bigger than all of the issues. His power is greater than the influences. And He is not bound by culture's restrictions. the only way the kudzu will be tamed is through His strength--God's holy fire clearing the path. He has called you and me to be a part of that process--to speak truth into a broken world, to bind the wounds of the damaged, and to be the "triage" and hands of healing as long as we are able.
when i am consumed by contempt for our loss of values or overwhelmed by the excessive grasp of our culture, i am reminded of His power...and I am grateful that i serve a God that is "able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than i can ever ask or imagine."
it takes the shape of a 19 year old girl who came to me for STD information. she had felt out of place in her friend group b/c she was the only one who had not had sex. now, she has contracted a STD.
it takes the form of the 17 year old girl who professed to a relationship with God, but realized she had searched for love by giving herself sexually to several guys.
it's the girl who has already had 2 abortions by age 16 and is facing yet another pregnancy. yet, she has no job, no life skills, and no steady boyfriend to support her.
these are just a few of the real-life stories that i have come across in the past few months, and this only scratches the surface. women all over america are faced with issues of sexuality from as young as elementary school. what can be done to help address this issue?
recently, i re-read "reviving ophelia" by mary pipher. it's a book that discusses the influences on adolescent females and the changes that take place as they leave childhood behind. although, it's a little outdated (written in the 90's), i couldn't help but come to recognize some of the greater issues plaguing our women today--the loss of "true self" in an effort to fit in, the issues of sexuality, the role that culture and the media play, the influences of peer group...and the list goes on. when i look at our work at the pregnancy center i can only believe that we are merely conducting damage control. although we are able to help a client through a crisis situation, we aren't equipping them to combat all of these influences. we are merely "triage." and although this is the role we are called to play, i can't help but wonder if there's something that can be done to address some of the larger causes.
i feel like we're merely cutting the leaves off of a kudzu of culture in our attempt to keep the parasitic plant from spreading.
yet, when i become overwhelmed at all of the horrible messages that are being sent to women today...when i can't seem to figure out a way to even begin addressing all of the issues, i am reminded of the power of prayer. in my 45 minutes spent with a client, i can only hope to share some truth and empower her to make better choices, yet God is able to do take my efforts and multiply them. He is bigger than all of the issues. His power is greater than the influences. And He is not bound by culture's restrictions. the only way the kudzu will be tamed is through His strength--God's holy fire clearing the path. He has called you and me to be a part of that process--to speak truth into a broken world, to bind the wounds of the damaged, and to be the "triage" and hands of healing as long as we are able.
when i am consumed by contempt for our loss of values or overwhelmed by the excessive grasp of our culture, i am reminded of His power...and I am grateful that i serve a God that is "able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than i can ever ask or imagine."
Sunday, December 13, 2009
winter's welcome
wow. it's been a month since my last post. and boy, how have things changed since then! november was a lovely month--full of warm weather and beautiful fall colors (at least for the first part of the month!). then, december came. it's entrance was gentle and graceful at first...then it really showed itself as the true tyrant it is. snow, ice, and wind chills of -15! so, needless to say, i've busted out the down coat, scarves, snow boots, and gloves. i've surprised myself at how much i have taken it all in stride. you would think a TN girl who hasn't seen a real temperature of one degree in years would be having an extremely diffiult time with this! i'm not a huge fan of the cold and would much rather spend the greater part of my year in the summer months. however, i knew to expect a harsh winter and tried my best to prepare myself for what was around the corner. (but ask me how i feel in february or march when i'm so sick of seeing snow!)
all this to say, i have been through a huge learning process during this move--and still am going through it. every aspect of my life has been touched by this transition--from small things like the weather and getting used to hearing midwesterners talk, to big things like making friends, finding a church, and learning a new job. i feel like i personally resonate with the changing of seasons. how can i not? my season in life has just changed. i went from a very comfortable summer or fall--rich with the blessings of friends, family, and a place in life i truly enjoyed. then, the winter saunters in--a subtle transition at first, only to throw her harshness upon me as time went on...new location, new job, new people, and the struggle to make them all my own.
one observation i have made about winter is that it brings out an accute awareness in people. leaving your house requires preparation--starting your car early, making sure you have on all of your warm gear, etc. then, the walk to your car requires that you be on guard, watching out for patches of ice or a faulty step here or there. and the drive to work doesn't get any easier--your senses are always intensified, ready to respond to a slick spot in the road or a driver who can't stop because of the ice. you are aware of all that it takes to get from point A to point B.
i think this happens in the "winters" of our lives as well. it's funny how many things we take for granted in the summer and fall. for example, we never think about the process it takes to drive our car down the road--why would we? yet, when the winter comes, we recognize how many factors are involved and how much effort is expended when the weather is difficult. everything takes soooo much longer! and, so it has been with my life recently. there were things that God has brought to the surface during this winter season that i never would have realized or recognized during the summers and falls of my life. it's only because things are difficult am i aware. just like i would never have been aware of all the process we go through to get from point A to point B during good weather. it's only the inclement weather that brings this to my attention.
in a similar fashion, God has used this transition to catch my attention. He is bringing awareness to areas of my life that He wants to change. i have come to recognize things within myself that were deep down--lying dormant during times of comfort and ease. it has only been through the "inclement weather" that they have surfaced. although this process is painful and frustrating at times, i am so grateful that God is working on me. and i am certain that the Holy Spirit will continue to do so (...funny how we are never left alone!) and i know this winter, just like the other seasons, is temporary. one day, i will look back on it from the beauty of spring and will be extremely grateful for this process. and i am already grateful because i know that God is pruning me--forming, shaping, and molding me so that i may be conformed to His likeness and bear more fruit to His glory.
i am amazed at the patience of God towards His children. He doesn't give up on us...and He'll even use things like the Chicago winter to get our attention!
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:1-4
Monday, November 9, 2009
A Season's Change
The littered ground slowly bubbles
Crunchy leaves defying gravity
Rising up from their fallen state
In an effort to meet me.
The garbled view so dimly perceived
My kaleidescope world seen through water
Spilling over the crested edge
In an effort to be free.
The relentless season silently implodes
Weathered acorn's shell splits open
Inviting its golden innards to exposure
In an effort to live again.
Crunchy leaves defying gravity
Rising up from their fallen state
In an effort to meet me.
The garbled view so dimly perceived
My kaleidescope world seen through water
Spilling over the crested edge
In an effort to be free.
The relentless season silently implodes
Weathered acorn's shell splits open
Inviting its golden innards to exposure
In an effort to live again.
Monday, November 2, 2009
highlights
So, I thought I would record a few highlights from my adventures in Chicagoland...
1. I bought my first ever pair of snow boots. They almost come up to my knees...I feel so hard core! I never thought I would ever live in a place that required such an apparatus!
2. Along with the boots, I am now a proud owner of a red down coat that has fur around the hood. It is good for up to 40 degrees below zero. I'm covered.
3. I had my first run-in with a raccoon. I never thought it would have happened in the suburbs of Illinois. I mean, I was living in Daniel Boone territory where we make "coon skin" hats...and never had such a close encounter! This raccoon was successfully living in our garage for a couple of days until it made it's break through the vinyl siding.
4. I made an attempt at "Whirley Ball." This is a very "technical" game involving a mixture of bumper cars, lacrosse, and basketball. I was horrible...
5. I bought my first ever pair of leggings. (my first since the days of stirrup pants at least) It's the cool thing around here, along with scarves and boots. Probably due to the lovely weather that is soon approaching...
6. Church shopping has become my hobby. It's quite the task finding a new church home, especially when your old one was so amazing! :) There have been some runners up, but no one who has stolen the crown yet. Keep praying that I'll find the one that's a good fit soon.
7. I went to my first ever CareNet Banquet. (CareNet of DuPage is the organization I work for.) There were 1,100 people there and it was amazing. Dinesh D'Souza spoke and had a lot of great things to say. If you've never heard him, I definitely recommend checking him out...but only when you're brain is ready to be challenged! I am so grateful to work for an organization that works passionately to love and support women and the cause of life.
Well, those are just a few of the highlights. It's been a few months and so far I have survived! :) Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support.
1. I bought my first ever pair of snow boots. They almost come up to my knees...I feel so hard core! I never thought I would ever live in a place that required such an apparatus!
2. Along with the boots, I am now a proud owner of a red down coat that has fur around the hood. It is good for up to 40 degrees below zero. I'm covered.
3. I had my first run-in with a raccoon. I never thought it would have happened in the suburbs of Illinois. I mean, I was living in Daniel Boone territory where we make "coon skin" hats...and never had such a close encounter! This raccoon was successfully living in our garage for a couple of days until it made it's break through the vinyl siding.
4. I made an attempt at "Whirley Ball." This is a very "technical" game involving a mixture of bumper cars, lacrosse, and basketball. I was horrible...
5. I bought my first ever pair of leggings. (my first since the days of stirrup pants at least) It's the cool thing around here, along with scarves and boots. Probably due to the lovely weather that is soon approaching...
6. Church shopping has become my hobby. It's quite the task finding a new church home, especially when your old one was so amazing! :) There have been some runners up, but no one who has stolen the crown yet. Keep praying that I'll find the one that's a good fit soon.
7. I went to my first ever CareNet Banquet. (CareNet of DuPage is the organization I work for.) There were 1,100 people there and it was amazing. Dinesh D'Souza spoke and had a lot of great things to say. If you've never heard him, I definitely recommend checking him out...but only when you're brain is ready to be challenged! I am so grateful to work for an organization that works passionately to love and support women and the cause of life.
Well, those are just a few of the highlights. It's been a few months and so far I have survived! :) Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support.
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