So, it's been a while since I've posted and honestly, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I wonder a) is it worth writing my thoughts out in a post-twitter world? and b) is it worth writing my thoughts out in a post-twitter world? haha. But I have tossed around these ideas for a while, so I might as well jot them down in the hopes that someone else can relate and be encouraged.
What does it look like for young adults to create community after 30? I live in a metropolitan area. (Wow, it's very weird for this South-eastern TN girl to say that.) People are coming and going ALL THE TIME. I cannot tell you how many people have come in and out (mostly out) of our lives over the past 2 years since we've been married. We started out with a very vibrant community and now we are trying to rebuild and regroup once again. It has left me with many questions and reflections both on the Chicago Christian community scene as well as our own personal participation in community-building efforts.
On a personal note, this is tough. I want friendship and fellowship so badly. I have come from seasons of very vibrant community where people were sharing, praying, and living life together. I went from Lee University (both undergrad and grad), where community seemed to happen with very little effort, to Wheaton, where there were several small groups that were ready for young adults to be a part of, to Chicago where I joined a church group that was sure to help me connect to others in similar stages of life. However, it hasn't been seamless or simple. I have found myself looking for friends and searching for others I can connect with on a deeper level. For a long time...
In all of this, I have to ask, what is my motivation? Do I want to serve and love others? Yes, but mostly I want others to serve and love me. This puts me in a place of seeking out those that most fulfill my needs, which in actually do not bring me closer to what I truly desire...real community.
So, in order to find what I am looking for, I have to give up my expectations. Wah wah. This is not the answer I really wanted to hear. I have to be willing to be the best friend, the one who shows up early and stays late, the one who goes to the end of the line, the one who bears the hard, difficult stuff with nothing in return, with zero thanks and no recognition. In losing myself is the reward. Otherwise, if I'm constantly searching, if I want fulfillment, if I want recognition, I will not find it b/c that is my object, my desire. It becomes and idol and it becomes what I seek after.
I will not receive community unless I'm willing to BE community first. It takes us stepping up to say, hey, I have your back. I will be there, no matter what. Before we receive, we have to give. I've been blessed to be part of something bigger than ourselves in the past. Now, it's the time to give. It's a difficult lesson to learn, but I'm trying. Help me, as my community, to do it well.
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