"I think it's about forgiveness..."

I was talking with a few women yesterday about the topic of "forgiveness."  These women have walked through some very difficult times.  They have been betrayed and hurt by those they were closest to.  They have made choices themselves that are hard to move on from.  And in reality, we all have.  We've been the recipients of other's pain and insecurities.  We've been lashed out at, neglected, and sometimes even abused.  Forgiveness is often the most difficult thing to grasp in those situations. And even once we grasp it, it so easily slips away when we are reminded of the pain once again.

In Matthew 18:21 Peter asks Jesus how often he is to forgive his brother when he sins against him,
"up to seven times?"  (I'm sure Peter was feeling a bit generous with his offer.)  Jesus responds, "I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times."

I can only imagine that Peter and the other disciples are a bit taken aback.  Jesus, as usual, turned their thought process upside down.  Seven times seemed like the good and proper thing to do. Seventy seven times seems just a bit absurd.

This passage came to mind yesterday as we were hashing out what forgiveness looks like.  Just as much as I am called (actually, commanded) to forgive my brother or sister when they do multiple wrongs against me, I am also called to forgive them multiple times for the single wrong they have committed.  See, forgiveness is a fickle thing that requires a bit of long-term attention.  Even though I forgave that person in the past, the forgiveness doesn't alway stick.  There's a trigger, an incident, or simply a memory that brings that hurt to the surface.  Forgiveness somehow made an exit, even though I could've sworn I had already been there, done that.  So, I forgive them again, and again and again, sometimes what feels like seventy seven times, until one day they (and myself) are completely set free from that old wound.

So, Jesus basically denies the option to take the easy road out.  I can no longer speak words of forgiveness with my mouth while harboring old wounds in my heart and expect to check this command off my list.  Forgiveness is a continual choice, oftentimes, over and over and over again.

Yet, there's a promise to all of this.  Forgiveness IS possible.  There is hope that the pain of the past will no longer have a hold on our present.  Christ gave us this command because He has gone before us and lived this out.  He has forgiven us for the multitude of sins we have committed against him, including that one sin that keeps coming up multiple times.  And only through this forgiveness we have received in Him,  do we find a source of forgiveness to extend to others.

So, we are not alone. He has gone before us. And He is with us now, bringing us to the point of forgiveness, for ourselves and others, day in, day out, even more than seventy seven times...however long it takes.

As Don Henley would say, I think the heart of the matter (and rather, the matter of our hearts) is about forgiveness. 


"I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness..."