a lesson in perspective (from Jesus' family drama)

In case you were wondering, Jesus had family drama too...And it all starts with a mob and a rambunctious crowd.  

In Mark chapter 3, Mark mentions some actions of the crowd that is following Jesus.  The people with "diseases were pushing forward to touch him (v.10)," "many people came (v.7)," "a crowd was sitting around him (v.32)," and in verse 20 "again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat."  If you can imagine, the popularity of Christ is growing so much so that Jesus can't even get a chance to grab some food!  The crowds are pressing in on his every step to the point that Jesus had to go up on a mountainside to have enough privacy to appoint his disciples (v.13-14).

In the midst of all of this craziness, there's a very interesting piece about Jesus' family.  See the verses below:

"Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat.  When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind." (v.20-21)

"Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived.  Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him.  A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."  "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.  Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."  (v. 31-35)

I always read the last set of verses and felt a little perplexed.  It seems to come across as a little rude.  It seems as if Jesus's family stopped by to pay him a visit and then he turns around and disowns them.  However, if you look at the previous verses, you can find the connection.  "When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, 'He is out of his mind.'" 

Imagine it. Here is Jesus.  His ministry is just getting off the ground.  People are starting to hear about his miraculous abilities and they are flocking to him for healing.  Just within the first two chapters of Mark he's already healed a demon possessed man, a man with leprosy, a paralytic, Peter's mother-in-law, and "many who had various diseases."  Needless to say, he's been a little busy.

Soon enough, the population in the area begins to find out and make their way to him.  The crowds begin to grow in intensity.  Jesus begins to have to distance himself from them in order to have time with his disciples.  Then, it gets to the point where he can't even find time to eat.

His family begins to think he's crazy.

They think their Son, Brother, Cousin, is crazy.

How can this be?  Don't they realize WHO he is and what sort of life he was meant to lead?

But surely, not Mary.  Of all people to understand, it would have to be her.  30 years prior, she was approached by an angel as a young betrothed woman.  (See Luke 1: 26-28)  This angel began to tell her that she was "highly favored" and that she had "found favor with God."  God chose her to carry the "Son of the Most High God" who will "reign over the house of Jacob forever" and whose "kingdom will never end."  She would be the mother to the Messiah.

Yet, here she is knocking at the door, thinking her Son was "out of his mind."  Was it a mother's concern over the fact that he wasn't eating?  Was she worried that he was living too much of a fast-paced life and should go back to carpentry?  Did she remember his lingering at the temple when he was younger and think that he had once again gotten too wrapped up in things?  Did she ever doubt that the miracles were actually real?  What had happened in those 30 years to change her perspective?

Here is this woman who is revered by many as the mother of Christ.  She had a literal angel appear to her, informing her of the divine nature of her Son.  She was a recipient of a miraculous event herself.  And yet, she still doubted.  She still lost perspective.

Mary had perhaps gotten so caught up in the day-to-day life of raising the Messiah, that she forgot what was actually going on.  Maybe she lost sight of her heavenly encounter all those many years ago.  Maybe all the diapers, schooling, feeding, and mothering had gotten in the way of the vision she had of God's plan.  Perhaps she couldn't see the bigger picture of God's kingdom for the simple fact she was too focused on what was directly in front of her.

This was such a stark reminder to me.  If this woman can fail at "getting it,"  how much more can I?  I who have never had an encounter with an angel.  I who have never had Magi travel from foreign lands to lay offerings at the feet of my Son.  I who never raised a child who was perfect and blameless.  How much more can I lose perspective on this amazing thing that's right in front of me...yet sooo much bigger than I can possibly imagine?

So, may this be a reminder to all of us.  May we not get so caught up in what's right in front of us that we miss the bigger picture.  May the day-to-day mundane not keep us from seeing the heavenly perspective.  And most importantly, may the "this is the way it should be's" not keep us from seeing that God could be doing something so amazingly huge and dynamic, even though it may come in a form that we least expect it.

Reflections from a Wanna-Be Catracha (Honduran)

January 14-February 10 were some of the most rewarding times of my life.  I spent 4 weeks at an orphanage in Honduras called Hogar Esperanza.  Although I could never bore you with the summary of my entire time there, I wanted to jot down some of my reflections from the trip.

Ever since my first missions trip in 1998, I've had the "missions itch."  I went on a domestic trip with my youth choir to host concerts and backyard Bible clubs in a small town outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan.  Something within in me connected during that experience and I have loved missions ever since.  Since then, I have gone on 7 domestic trips and 6 overseas trips. Most of these were very short-term, usually lasting only a week or so at a time.  I haven't taken a more extended trip since 2005 when I spent 6 weeks in China.  (That trip deserves its own blog sometime.)  So, needless to say, this trip to Honduras was one that would be different than most of my previous experiences.

However, it would be similar in some ways as well.  One of my passions is for Latin American countries.  I LOVE Spanish language and culture.  4 of the 6 overseas trips I've taken have been to Latin American countries.  (One day, I would love to see that number increase!) So, although Honduras was a new country to me, it is similar in language and some cultural aspects.  Also, it gave me an opportunity to continue to develop these language skills and further my exposure to the people and culture of Latin America.

Well, needless to say, I didn't realize how much it would rock my world.  I spent my 4 weeks hanging out with the 15 kids at Hogar Esperanza and taking Spanish classes at a school in town.  Getting to know the kids and spending time with them made every effort of this trip worthwhile.  All of them come from various difficult life circumstances that left them without family support.  It's amazing to see where God has brought them through now and how he has used Hogar Esperanza to truly change their lives.  (If you'd like to read the story of 4 of the kids click here: http://www.cogwm.org/index2.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2833&pop=1&page=0&Itemid=60) These kids are truly amazing.

One of the other main aspects of my trips was leading a couple of "Girl Talk" small group sessions with the teenage girls from the orphanage and the local church.  The first one I conducted was on abstinence and healthy relationships and the second one was about body image.  There were about 10 girls there, and thanks to the director of the orphanage, Angie, I was able to have the sessions translated into Spanish. At the end of our second session, the girls stopped to thank me for taking time to share with them.  They were grateful for the opportunity to talk about topics that were relevant to them and their stage in life.  And to be honest, I was probably more grateful for the opportunity to be able to share with them!

In all, I walked away feeling like my time had only just scratched the surface.  There were still many relationships to be built and nurtured.  There were still lots of topics to be discussed amongst the teenage girls.  There was tons of time that could be spent with the kids, holding their hands or just playing games.  However, it was time to come back to "reality" and make my return trip home to Wheaton, IL.

I never imagined leaving would be so hard.  I was talking with a friend who just returned from a year deployment in Iraq with the National Guard.  He described his feelings of returning home as "bittersweet."  He said he and many of the other soldiers didn't feel like the mission was complete.  There was still more work to be done, yet their circumstances demanded that they return home.  On a MUCH, MUCH smaller level I can resonate with that feeling.  The mission is still very much incomplete and there is still much work to be done in Honduras and at Hogar Esperanza.  I can only hope and pray that there is more in store for me there.

I don't know what God may have for me and my connection at Hogar Esperanza.  Right now, I am praying that I will continue to adapt to my life back here in the States while also cherishing my time in Honduras.  On the last day of my trip I was reading the familiar passage in John 15 about the vine and the branches.  Yet this time, one of the verses stood out to me like never before: "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." John 15: 16 The concept of "fruit that will last" struck me.  Although my time in Honduras was short-lived, God was able to do something lasting with it.  He not only has equipped me to bear fruit, but fruit that does not wither away and die within a month's time.  It's lasting fruit.  And in that I can take comfort.


So, now what?  Well, I am looking at planning a return trip in July for a week.  There are lots of projects that can be done at the orphanage, so there is always a need for extra hands.  I would like to bring down a group of people to join me in my efforts.  If you are interested in participating, just let me know.  You can come fall in love with a bunch of kids and eat a lot of beans and tortillas. Have I sold you on it yet?  :)  


In the meantime, it's readjusting to the midwest and American culture (and the freezing cold weather).  Also, it's maintaining connections with Spanish and creating opportunities to be exposed to Latin culture here in the US.  So, hopefully, the next time you all see me, I'll be speaking a little bit more Español!  Until then I will keep you posted.  Nos vemos! 

lessons from Tolkien

ever feel like you're behind in life?  recently, i've been reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  if you haven't done any background reading on J.R.R Tolkien, he seems like a remarkable guy.  he was orphaned by age 12 and still managed to graduate from Oxford with honors.  he became a professor, husband, and father of 4 children.  on top of all that, he managed to write some incredible books, poetry...and LANGUAGES (did i mention that he made up languages??).

looking at a life like his, i can't help but feel that mine is so....small.  sure, i go to work and contribute to society.  i have wonderful family and friends that i connect with.   but what am i actually doing with the time that i have been given?  i'm definitely not sitting around writing trilogies or making up elvish languages (not that i should be...b/c i would do an awful job at that!).

all that to say, i recognize that i could make more meaningful choices with my time.  the people that we think of as the great contributors to culture--musicians, artists, activists, politicians, and religious leaders, didn't just sit around and wait for opportunity to come knocking on their door.  they went out and DID something.  they practiced, they wrote, they studied.  they engaged in the activities that gave them passion and drive.   they knocked on doors, worked late hours, and spread the word about what they were doing.  they offered up what they had.

so, how do i follow in their footsteps?  well, it starts with movement--making changes, getting creative, and doing SOMETHING.  although i don't plan on writing any fantasy novels anytime soon or developing a foreign language for a people group that doesn't exist (sorry if you believe otherwise), i can definitely still create something that will leave an impact.

time is a tickin', so i best get crackin'....

Paul in my Pocket

tonight i was preparing for a Bible study on the first chapter of the book of Galatians.  i must admit that i've never done an in-depth study on Galatians before.  sure, i've read the book, but i've never really DUG IN.  so, tonight (procrastination) i started looking at the historical context and commentaries on the first chapter.  (side note, if anyone has any thoughts on the first chapter of Galatians feel free to pass them along before tomorrow night at 7:30 pm. :))

all that to say, i was really struck by one thought.  Paul wrote this book with the intent of rebuking the Galatians for getting swept away in false doctrine.  certain people had infiltrated their ranks and began teaching that in order to become a Christian they needed to be circumcised and follow all the tenants of Judaism.  unfortunately, the Galatians actually believed this teaching and were getting caught up in feeling the need to adhere to Mosaic law.   Paul came at this topic passionately and began encouraging the Galatians to get back to the true Gospel--the Gospel of grace that comes through the sacrificial atonement of Christ for our sins.

i read the first chapter feeling convicted.  i wasn't convicted that i had attempted to follow all Jewish customs (although i typically don't eat food sacrificed to idols).  i wasn't even convicted that i have adhered to false doctrines (although that has definitely happened in my past...i can tell you the story later...).  instead, i was convicted over the simple fact that i am not Paul.

in my mind, this galatian false doctrine wasn't a good thing, but it wasn't like some of the other doctrines you see churches believing in the new testament.  the galatians weren't engaging in fornication or getting drunk at the Lord's Supper. so, it didn't seem like this doctrine was "bad" in itself.  people were trying to "do the right thing."  however, Paul didn't become engaged in this argument of good vs bad...he saw the lie for exactly what it was--a method to keep people from a true relationship with Christ.  he saw this church getting led astray and stepped in to intervene.

the question i have to ask is, "would i do the same thing?"  sure, i get angry at a lot of misperceptions in the world.  i even get my feathers ruffled at false doctrines in the Church.  i hate it when believers go around believing lies about themselves, God, and the Gospel.  BUT would i SAY anything about them?  would i first identify the doctrine for what it is, then would i even call out the lie/false teaching/skewed Gospel?  would i be so passionate about it that i couldn't help but say something?  would i have the hutzpah to actually stand up?  i would hope so.  yet, have i ever done it before?  all i can do is shamefully shake my head...and hope and pray that something changes. so that, perhaps, when push comes to shove, and the time comes when it's needed, i can have the strength to be a little more "Paul-like."

random thoughts of the day...

maybe it's because i'm an official "adult" now.  maybe it's because i've been reading Lord of the Rings.  maybe it's because it keeps popping up here and there.  or maybe it's simply indigestion.

maybe it's none or all of the above.

seems like the concept of desires and dreams, and refusing to settle for the status quo keeps coming up.   perhaps, it's as a result of having more of a routine life.  9-5, Monday through Friday.  2 weeks vacation.  the typical American.

maybe it's because i read "Radical" by David Platt.  (that book will mess you up.)

9-5 isn't bad.  don't get me wrong.  it's nice to have structure.   it's when the structure becomes the end-all, be-all that things go awry.

the question is, do i still get the "itch?"  do i still want to step outside of my home at Bag End?  do i sense that there's something "more" out there?

i am a contributor to a larger-functioning kingdom.  this kingdom is wild and ever-changing.  is my contribution for the advancement of this fiery force?  or am i dampening its effects?

i fight the urge to grow complacent and go through the motions.  if, for a moment (or several 1,000 moments), i allow myself to indulge in this, i realize that it's not really all that satisfying.  there's still a nagging feeling i can't quite get rid of.  (thank goodness.) i hope that feeling never goes away.  if it does, i am to be pitied, for i have lost my way.

i pray that you get that "itch" too.  although it can be uncomfortable and very inconvenient at times, it's what keeps us MOVING.  it may require sacrifice (actually, if it's a deep down itch, it probably will), but what's there to gain otherwise?  so, relish in the feeling and don't ignore it.  if you neglect it long enough, it may eventually disappear.  who knows, it may even take a piece of you with it...

so, while there's time, let's open the door and step outside.  let's be willing to participate in the journey ahead of us.  as Tolkien penned in the Fellowship of the Ring:
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." 

may we be swept into places where light penetrates darkness,  chains that once bound are broken, and lives one enslaved are renewed and set free.  here we go...

striking the ground

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated!  This summer has gotten away from me.  I must admit that I am in mourning about the whole thing...I am already dreading the cold winter that will lie ahead.  However, until then, there are plenty of 90 degree days full of cookouts, festivals, and fun times ahead!

On to my blog post...

Recently, I have been reading in 2 Kings.  Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot that has really jumped off the page at me.  At times while I'm reading all the kings start to run together a bit.  However, at other times, there have been very clear moments where I've connected with a story and took it to heart.  What I am about to share is just one of them.  Reading through Israel's struggles and the biographies of her kings is a clear reminder that we're all human and wrestle with sin.  We face many of the same issues that they did during that time.  If you want some nice entertainment, replace the names of the characters in 2 Kings with Italian mobsters. It reads just like a scene from Godfather...

Well, on to my story, right??  I was reading in 2 Kings 13 about Joash, King of Israel.  Now, Joash was an evil king and led Israel astray (as most of them seemingly were).   He came to a point in his reign were he felt he was on the verge of defeat.  So, doing what most people do when they think they're about to die, he cried out to God.  He went to the prophet Elisha and sought help.  Elisha told him to take a bow and arrow and shoot it out the window.  (Kind of strange, but people have been asked to do weirder things in the Bible...read Jeremiah, for one.)  The direction he shot was towards his enemy, symbolizing that he would defeat them.  Then, Elisha asked him to take the remaining arrows and strike the ground.  Joash responded and struck the ground 3 times.  Then, something rather odd happens.  Rather than responding positively to Joash, Elisha responds in anger.  He tells Joash that he will only defeat his enemy 3 times.  Elisha tells him that he should have struck the ground 5 or 6 times b/c then he would have completely defeated them.  Instead, Joash has to settle with a minor victory and recognize that his enemy will eventually renew his stronghold against Israel.

This story has always struck me.  Maybe because I'm a rule-follower.  I tried to put myself in Joash's shoes.  Elisha, this man of God in a position of authority tells me to strike the ground.  I strike it...maybe even only once.  "Hey, I'm just doing what I'm told." I've never been one to get really wrapped up in the moment and go overboard.  I can't imagine myself striking and striking and striking til the arrows break or I'm exhausted.  So, I respond quietly to Elisha's request, merely striking the ground a time or two.  But then I find out that it's not really "following the rules after all."  There's a hidden agenda here...God wants to see fervor.  Passion.  Zeal. A little "over the top-ness."  I'm in trouble...

On the other hand, unlike me, Joash was NOT a rule-follower.  He did his own thing and didn't obey the voice of God.  Sure, he was living "outside the box," but doing so in a way that was unhealthy and destructive to his people.  He pursued his own pleasure and led everyone else along his path of destruction with him.  What would it have taken for him to exhibit a little abandon when he came to seek God?  I'm sure it was not his comfort zone.  Sure, he had abandon in other areas of his life, but not when it came to his relationship with God.  So, when it came time to strike the ground, he picked the safe number:  3.  Not too much.  Not too little.  But then he found out, that it wasn't quite right...

So, what does that mean for me?  Abandon, in the proper respect is not only healthy, but expected.    Living with fervor and zest is beneficial...and it not only has implications for my own life, but will ultimately affect those around me.  So, when God leads me in a certain direction or asks me to do something for His kingdom (even something as simple as striking the ground),  I pray that I can dive in wholeheartedly.   May I not stop with simple obedience.  May I not choose the "safe" answer.  May I respond with enthusiasm and passion as I recognize that my small act may have a much larger impact.  Here goes to striking...

^"6Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them: [He whose gift is] prophecy, [let him prophesy] according to the proportion of his faith;

    ⁷[He whose gift is] practical service, let him give himself to serving; he who teaches, to his teaching;

    ⁸He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness."  Romans 12: 6-8 (Amplified Bible) 

natural vs healthy

My supervisor adopted a little boy from Haiti a little over a year ago.  His story is such a miracle.  I can't imagine the joy she must feel to have him at home with her after a very long, drawn-out adoption process.  Last month, however, they found themselves in a situation that no one expected.

In every parent's nightmare, they have probably dreamed up this scenario.  A very young, inquisitive boy reaches into a drawer in the kitchen.  Before anyone knew what was going on, he grabs the scissors.  Somehow in the short few seconds, there was an accident where the scissors punctured his face and eye.  By the time anyone could catch anything, there was blood everywhere and the little guy was laying on the ground.  

At the hospital, they hear really awful news--the scissors affected his retina and his eye leaked a lot of fluid.  There is a chance for blindness in the eye with the retina attempting to detach.  Surgery is performed to "weigh" the retina down and keep it from trying to remove itself.  Also, they are informed that the other eye may begin to become "sympathetic" and attempt to lose vision as well.   Nothing for certain will be known for several days.  And so begins the waiting period...

After lots of prayer, doctors visits, time spent at the hospital, tons of medication and eye drops, double-casts on both arms, extremely limited movement, and a few surgeries...he is doing wonderfully.  He now wears glasses and has a very tiny scar on his cheek.  Otherwise, the doctors are in amazement that his retina has held in place and his vision is just fine.  He can now return to being a little boy again.  

However, thinking about all of this as it was going on, there was something that struck me...  

I'm totally not a doctor and know very little about the medical field (blood makes me squeamish), but it seems soooo weird to me that the retina had to be forced NOT to detach.  Our bodies are created with such natural healing qualities.  If we burn our tongues and lose a few taste buds, soon enough we'll have new ones to replace them.  If we get a sunburn and our skin begins to peel, the new layer will be exposed and our skin will heal.  If we get an illness, the agents in our body do their best to fight it off and return us back to normal.  Yet, in this situation, the body seemed to be the enemy--the one rebelling against the healing process.  

The doctor had to go in and physically keep the retina from responding in a way that was not most helpful to the eye.  On the other hand, the retina was just doing what it was made to do.  When there was stress/injury/destruction, it will respond by detaching.  

As a person with a background in counseling, I realized that we as humans, do this ALL THE TIME. We respond in ways that are "natural" to us, but aren't always the most "beneficial."  For example, personally, when I feel threatened or attacked in a conflict, I will respond just like the retina--I detach.  However, that isn't always the most appropriate or helpful response.  For healthy conflict to occur, you have to engage and see it through to the end.  Ultimately, that is how you can learn and grow from the process.  

We see this happen all around us.  Push comes to shove.  We're placed in awkward situations.  We find ourselves uncomfortable, in pain, or injured.  What do we do?  We respond out of our natural inclinations.  We put walls up.  We back off.  Or we push away.  The list goes on. There are so many ways in which we initially feel compelled to act.  Yet, we have to ask, "is this what is most healthy in the long run?"  It may feel like the right thing to do for the moment, but ultimately, just like the retina, will we be losing something?  

Fortunately, in my boss' situation, her little boy is doing wonderfully.  God answered a lot of prayers and the intervention has worked.  How about for us?  What will keep us from hitting those "blind spots" and responding in the ways that we have always done?  Will we recognize that "natural" isn't always most "healthy?"  

Will we choose to do something different?