"Life in Death"...Easter Reflections

Today I had a realization.  5 years ago, I experienced a huge turning point in my life.  I didn't quite understand the full extent of it at the time (and probably still don't), but God had been working to bring me to a point of freedom from things i had been struggling with for a long time.  During this Easter season, i can't help but reflect on my own journey from death to life.  I'm going to share with you excerpts from my journal entry on 4-2-07.  Read and reflect with me about the work of a God who brings light into dark places and life into places of brokenness and struggle in our lives.

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4-2-07

"So many times when we rebel we think that we are choosing independence.  We want to do what we want to do and sometimes we lose our better judgment and actually do it.  

There have been times in my life that I have made poor choices in the name of "freedom."  I want to have the ability to choose what I wish--to not be bound by obligation.  So, I strike out on my own path and quickly find that my so called "freedom" wasn't all it was cracked up to be.  Instead of being free, I found myself a captive.  Instead of independence--slavery.

The truth is that I have 2 choices; not "freedom" and "service,"  but "service" and "service."  Will I choose to serve God or serve an idol? That idol make take the form of my desires, a crutch, a relationship, or so many other things, but no matter what object it becomes, in the end it leads to captivity.  So, in essence, my choice for freedom does not lead to freedom at all--unless it is a choice that involves service to God.  It is in this choice to die that I find life--to lose that I find gain.  So, who will I serve?  What choice will I make?  One of faith or one of immediacy?  One of sacrifice or one of indulgence?  One of life or one of destruction?  

On Saturday (3-31-07), I made a commitment...God showed me that I needed to just plant both feet and take the plunge--to leave all of that completely behind me.  I didn't want the option to ever be held in my hand anymore.  I realized that in order to be free I had to completely commit--I had to "lose my life for His sake in order to find it"--I had to go full-throttle and not look back, realizing that I might not always land it perfectly, but there would be no successful jumps otherwise.  So, yeah, that's where I'm at--diving in and seeking to be fully obedient, praying for God's strength to carry me through."  

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And carry me through He has.  5 years later, I can look back at my life and rejoice at the work God has done. May this Easter season afford you the opportunity to reflect and express gratitude as well.  And if you are currently in the midst of struggle or pain, may you be encouraged to anticipate and trust in the work God is doing as we speak and will continue to do in the future.  Praise be to God for His wonderful work of redemption and rescue in our lives!