"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:11-12
Recently, I was out for a walk and this passage came to mind. "Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." How amazing will it be to be FULLY known? I can't even imagine how wonderful (and utterly scary) it will be to be known for who I truly am. There's such freedom in knowing that God loves me as I am, and that one day when I stand before Him, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, I will be fully known.
Yet, this time, the passage hit me from a different perspective. As amazing as it will be to be "known," how much more incredible will it be for us to fully know God? Right now, I can only know Him as much as my tiny little brain can hold and as much as the Holy Spirit reveals to me in my finite heart. How much does God also desire for himself to be fully known by us?
I thought about any other relationship we may have on this earth. Usually, relationships begin to grow and develop as people learn more about each other. Typically, one person does not hold all the knowledge about the other (that would be called "stalking"). Instead, as each person grows in their insight about the other person, the relationship gets closer. (Unless you learn more and begin to totally dislike what you are finding out!) We all hope that as this relationship develops, it will get stronger when the other person learns more about what makes us tick, how we operate, the things we enjoy, our hopes, desires and dreams. It's a cry of the human heart to be known and loved for who you really are.
Also, in our relationship with God the same could be said. Although He knows EVERYTHING about us, we can only fathom a small amount of the entirety of who He is while we are here on this earth. Does He not desire to be known by us as well? Not only known as much as our pea-sized minds can hold but REALLY known. One day, we will get the opportunity to stand before Him in all of His splendor and experience just that. And as amazing that it will be to be fully known for who we are...how much more incredible will it be to know God for who HE truly is?
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face..."
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
perfectionist? me? never...
So, this week my running lesson has been "perfectionism." For those of you who know me, this will probably not come as a surprise. It was bound to happen at some point in this experience. Here's how it all started...
One day this week I decided to work on my running speed. To give you some background here, I have NEVER been a speed runner. These short legs don't have much to offer in that arena! My strength in running always came from my consistency and perseverance. I could build myself up to longer distances over a period of time by plugging away at a slow and steady pace. I typically run a 10 minute mile without fail and really have no qualms about it. Well, this past summer, I decided to see if I could change that. So, I started timing myself on shorter distances, challenging myself to increase my speed each time. My overall goal was to hit an 8:30 mile. And eventually, I made it. It was a fun experiment.
Well, over the course of this lenton experience, I have monitored my speed from time to time as well. There have been a few times I've ran my 2 mile stints, gauging my minutes per mile each way. This week, I wanted to push myself and see how fast I could really go. Well, first mile out: 9 minutes. :( I was a bit disappointed, so I put some more elbow grease into it (or would it be knee grease?) and squeezed out an 8:45 on the way back. Many people would have been excited, even elated, that a month into getting back into running I was able to almost make the same time goal I had when I had been running all summer. However, with me being the perfectionist that I am, that was not the case. Instead, all I could think about was that I was capable of running 8:30. All I needed to do was shave off 15 seconds! 15 teeny tiny seconds kept me from where I wanted to be. Fortunately, I didn't let myself sit in this frustration for very long. I encouraged myself with the facts that I hadn't been running all winter and that 8:45 is a very respectable speed given my situation. In the end, I felt ok about my time. Yet, my initial response told me a lot about how I had perceived the situation deep down.
Those 15 seconds can really get us. Whether it's running, or weight loss, or our career, or grad school, or even our spiritual walks, we can get hung up on those moments where we don't quite meet up to our own expectations. Maybe we don't even realize our expectations are there...until we fail to reconcile them. Then, that's all we can think about. We can't get that little measurement out of our heads. We tell ourselves: "But I'm capable of so much more..." "I can't believe I let that happen..." "If I had only studied more, prepared more, prayed more, etc." It's in those moments we come to the cross-roads. Will we extend ourselves a little grace, get back up on our feet and try again? Or will we allow the frustration and self-pity/doubt to keep us stuck? For me, I'm hitting the pavement again. In the end, I may not do much better than 8:45, but on the other hand, who knows? And I won't ever find out unless I keep trying...
One day this week I decided to work on my running speed. To give you some background here, I have NEVER been a speed runner. These short legs don't have much to offer in that arena! My strength in running always came from my consistency and perseverance. I could build myself up to longer distances over a period of time by plugging away at a slow and steady pace. I typically run a 10 minute mile without fail and really have no qualms about it. Well, this past summer, I decided to see if I could change that. So, I started timing myself on shorter distances, challenging myself to increase my speed each time. My overall goal was to hit an 8:30 mile. And eventually, I made it. It was a fun experiment.
Well, over the course of this lenton experience, I have monitored my speed from time to time as well. There have been a few times I've ran my 2 mile stints, gauging my minutes per mile each way. This week, I wanted to push myself and see how fast I could really go. Well, first mile out: 9 minutes. :( I was a bit disappointed, so I put some more elbow grease into it (or would it be knee grease?) and squeezed out an 8:45 on the way back. Many people would have been excited, even elated, that a month into getting back into running I was able to almost make the same time goal I had when I had been running all summer. However, with me being the perfectionist that I am, that was not the case. Instead, all I could think about was that I was capable of running 8:30. All I needed to do was shave off 15 seconds! 15 teeny tiny seconds kept me from where I wanted to be. Fortunately, I didn't let myself sit in this frustration for very long. I encouraged myself with the facts that I hadn't been running all winter and that 8:45 is a very respectable speed given my situation. In the end, I felt ok about my time. Yet, my initial response told me a lot about how I had perceived the situation deep down.
Those 15 seconds can really get us. Whether it's running, or weight loss, or our career, or grad school, or even our spiritual walks, we can get hung up on those moments where we don't quite meet up to our own expectations. Maybe we don't even realize our expectations are there...until we fail to reconcile them. Then, that's all we can think about. We can't get that little measurement out of our heads. We tell ourselves: "But I'm capable of so much more..." "I can't believe I let that happen..." "If I had only studied more, prepared more, prayed more, etc." It's in those moments we come to the cross-roads. Will we extend ourselves a little grace, get back up on our feet and try again? Or will we allow the frustration and self-pity/doubt to keep us stuck? For me, I'm hitting the pavement again. In the end, I may not do much better than 8:45, but on the other hand, who knows? And I won't ever find out unless I keep trying...
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