truth in love

Lately I have been wrestling with what does it mean to "speak the truth in love?"

We live in a world where truth is relative and everyone has their right to believe whatever they want. As a result, there are moments when as a Church we have neglected to call out certain truths for what they are. There seems to be such tension between trying not to judge and erring on the side of people-pleasing instead.

I fall into this trap myself. I'm generally a laid-back, non-confrontational type. So, if someone were to be wearing a paper sack for a hat and ask me what I thought about their new look, I might respond by saying, "I'm not sure that it accentuates your best features." Whereas, others might come out and say, "You look like an idiot." :) So, when it comes to "speaking the truth in love," in the past I have been at times overly cautious and focused more on the "loving" part of that statement versus "speaking the truth."

What do we do with this when it comes to the Gospel or God's word? ALWAYS our motivation must be from a place of love. This means, we don't speak until our hearts are in the right place. It means we take a step back and put ourselves in others' shoes. It also means that we rely upon God and allow Him to speak through us.

However, there is a time to speak. The verse wouldn't tell us to speak truth in love if we were never expected to actually speak up. So, how do we do that? And under what context?

A passage from the New Testament came to mind.

In Mark 10:17-22 we see the story of the rich young ruler. He comes to Jesus and asks how he can inherit eternal life. Jesus responds by saying "You know the commandments--do not murder, do not steal..." and the list goes on. The young ruler tells Jesus that he has kept these since he was a kid. The Scriptures tell us something very striking next. The verse says, "Jesus looked at him and LOVED him." Then, Jesus responds by saying "One thing you lack. Go sell everything you have and give it to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." The young man's face falls because he knows he will be unable to do this and he walks away.

Here is a very poignant example of Jesus speaking truth in love. He doesn't shy away from the objective--an invitation to come follow Him. He very clearly lays out what is truth--the requirements laid out in Scripture. Yet, He does so from a very specific and direct motivation--love.

So, how can I follow Christ's example? I am urged to come with an objective to see people come to follow Christ. I can also very clearly lay out truth and Scripture, but first and foremost, my motivation must come from a place of love. I cannot respond out of fear of being disliked. I also cannot respond out of judgment of their actions. I MUST be compelled by love.

where is our truth coming from?

We live in a society that has diminished the importance of truth. It is not politically correct to state that something is "right" or "wrong." You can hardly get anyone to own up to truth's existence, much less believe in it. All things are relative and left up to the discretion of the individual.

Yet, at the same time, we live in a society that searches for meaning and experience. We want to "be informed" and "be in the know." We follow blogs and watch "reality" tv. We submerge ourselves into the stories of others and procclaim, "now that's REAL!" So, in essence, we are not denying the existence of truth, but confirming that truth is in what we feel vs what we know.

A Madonna line in her song "Bedtime Story" goes like this: "words are useless, especially sentences, they don't stand for anything, how can they explain how I feel?" The experience, the feeling, has become the ultimatum. Words and knowlege have been surpassed.

This is a very scary place to be. In the past, we turned to the "experts" to inform us. We were led by institutions, our parents, the Church, or our leaders. We were driven by concepts such as loyalty, pride, patriotism, and devotion to country, church, and family. Although that is not a perfect system and has many flaws, we have gone in the completely opposite direction. Instead of turning to these experts to tell us what we should know, we rely upon our own individual experiences. I don't know about you, but my individual experiences are flawed as well. Let me share an example:

Since I live in the Chicago suburbs, I enjoy going downtown on occasion. One day I may decide to go to the city and have a wonderful time. I then determine based on my experience that the city is a lovely place and well worth my time there. However, if I were to be given the same exact circumstances the next weekend--even complete with the same great weather, the same companions, same restaurants and sites--I may have a COMPLETELY different experience. After that weekend, I may determine that the city is a trash heap and not worth my effort. It all depends on the state I am in in any given moment.

This is why experience as truth is a disaster. No one experiences things the same, so there would never be a universal belief. Even if I left it up to myself to decide, my mind may change on any given day based on how I feel. This negates the definition of truth in itself. Truth is something that is long-lasting and stands the test of time. It doesn't change or falter with the latest opinion poll or research finding. It isn't defined by those who percieve it. It just is in and of itself.

So, I have to ask myself, "where am I getting my truth?" I am certain that I don't want to base my life around the words of Madonna or the latest Tweet by Ashton Kutcher or even what they tell me on Fox News. How bout you?